Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

As a family, we grow

March 15, 2008

I got a call from my brother last night while I was waiting for a table at my favorite mexican restaurant in the city (that I know of). I answered, “Hey Joe, what’s poppin’?” (Yeah, I talk like a schmuck on the phone with my family and friends.) He responded quickly with something that still resonates in my ears, “Hey Uncle Steve.”

Hold up. Uncle?

I keep thinking to myself, “I’m going to be an uncle!? That’s so weird.” But then I snap back into reality and put things into perspective, “Joe’s going to be a father……. Whoa.” He got married to his high school girlfriend just last September, and now they are preggers! Insanity! Exciting!

My family always joked about who was going to be the first one with a kid. Joe, the oldest, was not first. It was supposed to be the other brother, the fuck up (but we love him anyways). He was supposed to make a mistake and end up a father. Then my sister was to get pregnant somehow, and THEN Joe was to have a kid. I am usually left out of that whole conversation, and that is completely acceptable. Everyone knows I want to have a kid, but no one wants to think too hard about it… but that is not the point of this entry. I am to be an uncle. And my oldest brother is to be a Daddy!

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Always appreciative

February 24, 2008

I am the ever-grateful son. I love my parents dearly, and I make sure to check in with them at least once a week. They moved to New Mexico in December and they are still adjusting. They are not used to being so far away (I mean, before they were a ten hour drive, but now they are in a different time zone). But nevertheless, I still try to be as helpful as I can and keep my finances to myself. They know I just moved and have still been trying to get everything for my place, so a couple weeks ago they offered to pay my credit card off for me. I said it was not necessary, but mom was not letting up. So I lied. I told her that it was about half of what it really was. I did that because I knew I could take $100 from each of my paychecks and still be okay and just pay it off over time. I am just a little proud.

Yesterday I talked to my dad for about an hour (and we both say we hate talking on the phone). Then later I called to talk to my mom. I was cooking dinner and I had to put the phone down to cut my onion. She asked a few questions and found out that I was cutting it with the only knife I have… a butter knife. She started yelling at me. How could I not have gotten my kitchen put together, etc. etc. She asked why I had not bought knives… I told her. My credit card is at that level that I do not want to put any more onto it (which is about half way to the max). She asked me how much was on it, and I told her that I was fine and that I had it all planned out. But she knows that I have to get supplies for school (which is, oddly enough, about $50 a week, or more), so she went to her computer. She logged into my bank account to see what was going on. And she told me that she will pay off my card in full…

I still cannot wrap my head around that. Now I know I was not in deep, but I was defiantly being cautious to not overspend on anything. I know I am not working as much as I have in the past (only 25-30 hours a week instead of 30-40 hours), but I am trying to focus on schoolwork right now and hang out with my friends more often. I just could not believe that my mom did that… It was not really a huge stress in my life, but that weight being lifted is really appreciated. Now I have to find a way to pay them back… help them with moving my grandmother from Maine to New Mexico. Or them from their rental house to their new house. Or do something really special for them in August for their 25th wedding anniversary…

Esacpe

January 2, 2008

New Years. Where to begin?

I began my new year with my mother, father, and brother in this little house my parents are renting while their house is being built in a much better area of New Mexico. We watched movies, sat by the fire, and relaxed after skiing all day. My parents, well they are getting older and could not make it to midnight, so it was really just my brother and I left. The past few weeks have been hell for me for personal reasons I will write about at another time.

I wanted an escape, and boy did I get out for a bit.

I have never been so… overcome with thought. I lack emotions, but my head never slows down, never misses a beat. I began to feel. The movies we watched actually had real purpose (granted I may have confused what they were trying to say. We watched that Disney movie Happy Feet and could not figure out if it was trying to say we saved the penguins or if we ruined everything)… I continued to feel. But then I over heated and had to strip down to my underwear. We watched more movies, and ended with Pixar’s Robots, but we watched it on mute with music playing on the laptop. Visually stunning, but that is all I really can say about it.

My brother went to bed and I was not even near tired. It was probably around six in the morning. The whole time we were watching movies I could not stop touching myself. Anywhere really, it just felt so nice. After he went to bed I could not stop rubbing all over. This is when I stripped down to my jockstrap. I began rubbing myself down. The light was off, watching the fire from the couch, listening to music (Explosions in the Sky will never sound like that again), rubbing. Something about it all left me incapable of getting an erection, so I just lay there, enjoying the feeling of myself. After what seemed like an extended period of time, I got hard and was able to get off.

I walked around the room, studying everything with my eyes. I played with the fire for a bit; it was ridiculously warm and felt so amazing against my skin. I eventually felt like I might be able to sleep. I was wondering what the time may be since the sunlight began to fill the room from around the shades. Sleep never came. So I just lay there. I have never seen a sunrise in New Mexico before.

I grew hungry. I finally put on some clothes again; some warm fleece sweats with a waistband that is too big for me so they sit real, real low. I opened the door out of the living room and into the two unheated rooms of the rental house. Got to the kitchen and drank some juice, grabbed a pop tart and headed back to the living room. Soon after warming by the fire, my mom walked into the room. The day had begun and I was not going to be sleeping at all, but I did not need it.

I never make resolutions. I think it is because I am as close to perfect as it gets. Sure, must be it. But after all of that, I realize a bunch of things about myself that I feel need some attention. Like I said, lots of changes are coming once I get back to the city. The most important one of all is to remember to take time to relax. In the long run, most things really do not matter that much. Focus on the self and enjoy what you have right here, right now.