Monday was another serious series of ups and downs. We’ll start with the downs.
In the morning, the very-recent ex decided that we should be talking again. We got heated, it ended up in the same place though. We just cannot be friends right now. He wants me to not date (not that I am trying right now anyways), but I told him that I probably will when I am ready. But none of it will be serious… I am not ready for another serious relationship. Not for a while, at least. So I was upset, he kept putting words in my mouth, so I cut him off and went out to do things that I needed to do before class.
Upon arrival of my first class, I remember that we were supposed to have ideas for our presentations all figured out for that day. I not only did not have an idea, but I did not have a partner either. I think fast, “What photographer works with end-time themes?” Nothing. I got nothing. Another photo nerd gave me the idea of David LaChapelle and his body of work revolving around the end of time. Check. Now, who to work with? I look around the room, scanning for people I know. She will work with him. Him with him. Her with him. Class beings, still no idea. Then, he walks into the room. His beautiful eyes, unique looks (which means he is typically kind of homely, but attractive in his own way), talented photographer, the object of my desires. Straight (I know, right? Always happens to me). I ask him, he is stoked for not having to work alone and agrees. (We are both kind of loners… but it is by choice.) Check, that issue is taken care of.
On to my next class, Workshop. I knew I had to leave early for a scholarship benefit, but I developed my film and showed the contact sheets to my instructor. I hated them; I knew I was going to redo the whole project with a new idea. He hated them, told me I was right and sent me on my way.
I arrive at the Scholarship Reception and immediately look out for where they hung my work. …They only hung two of the four pieces I gave them. And two of the photos were supposed to be hung together… but only one was up. Whatever, there was “limited space,” so I did not make a scene. I found that a bunch of my friends also received scholarships, so it was not going to be that awkward of a time. The whole point of the reception is to meet the people that funded your scholarship. My contributor had passed a few years back (which I found out after I looked and looked and looked for her) and she did not have any benefactors coming to represent her. I was livid. I loathe missing classes, and I missed four hours of class to not meet my supporter. At the end of the night we were told to take our stuff, so I headed up to the small space where our work was and I stopped to talk to a friend on my way out. That is when it all happened…
This guy, late twenties/early thirties approaches me. He addressed me by name, “I am assuming this is your work,” pointing at my photo. I said yes, still in shock. He then told me he had been looking for me all night, that he really loved the piece, but he could tell that there was more to the story. We talked for maybe thirty minutes, back and forth about the school, the program, what my goals are, etc, etc. I am horrible with names, so naturally I have no idea who he is. But I do know that he graduated from my school in 2000, and is currently a curator somewhere. (I wish I did not get so nervous when talking to people and could remember very important details like that.) I did not exchange any contact information with him (stupid! So stupid!) but I am going to try to find out who he is and get in touch with him and thank him for his words.
Not meeting with the people who support me really bummed me out, put a damper on the whole evening; but meeting someone who genuinely enjoys my work and process really made it all worth it. I just put it up; there was no caption with it, just a single photo with a label. And it generated something in him. It made him think. That, that is what I want from a career in photography. And now I feel like there really is a possibility of it all happening for me.